L'homme français, la partie dix

“Bonjour, mon amie. Ca va bien?” He softly inquired.

“I am… Well, I’m not sure how I am.” I could only speak the truth. I still hadn’t figured out where my head was.

“I don’t understand?” He was confused by my response. “Please come sit with me.”

I turned off my iPod and followed him to a small table. I wanted to talk to him. I needed to know why he left the chateau as he did.

“Are you and Jean-Pierre well?”

“Oh yes, we’re fine. Why do you ask that?”

“You have not called him recently, ma cherie.”

My eyes widened in surprised. I had no idea Jean-Pierre had been in contact with him since that night.

“You talked with him?” I couldn’t avoid hearing the shock in my own voice.

“Oui. I talk with him every day. He misses you.”

“I know. I don’t know.” I was struggling to keep myself together in his presence.

“He loves you. I know this.”

I looked into Marcel’s crystal blue eyes to see the truth of the statement before avoiding it.

“Why did you leave?” I quizzed.

“I didn’t want to ruin the experience of the night. I know how much he loves and adores you.”

“I wanted to see you when I woke up.”

“Non. It would not have been good for us. We are friends, oui, ma cherie?”

“Yes, we are friends but I would like to believe we care for each other too.”

“You are right but please know that Jean-Pierre is like a brother to me. I cannot hurt him by loving and hurting you.”

“I have to go. I need to finish my run.”

I stood up to leave but Marcel grabbed my arm. He pulled me close and hugged me tight. My eyes blinked back tears as he kissed me with all the love he had for me. I didn’t want to let go. Not of him, not of that kiss, not of my heart.

I turned and ran.

L'homme français, la partie neuf

We were back in Marseilles two days later. I went straight into work when we arrived. The system had picked up a security breach over the weekend. None of my staff knew how to resolve the issue so they had opted to shut the system down completely. I appreciated how the problem was going to keep me occupied for the next few days. I needed a break from my personal life.

Don’t believe anyone who says that threesomes are fun. Yes, granted they are fun while in the moment, the emotional havoc that is wreaked is often beyond comprehension. I didn’t know what I was feeling. I knew without a doubt that I wasn’t in love with Jean-Pierre. I wasn’t in love with Marcel either. The problem is I wanted more of Marcel. I wanted the unleashed passion he gave me. I had the strange feeling that he wasn’t the same way with anyone else.

Jean-Pierre’s phone calls came frequently. I didn’t answer or return them for a week. If I wasn’t working, I was sitting in my apartment with the lights off. I had to live with my thoughts alone. I couldn’t respond to anything personal but in my heart, I knew I would have to talk to Jean-Pierre. After months of being with him, I owed him much more than ignoring him. To pull myself out of this strange funk I was in, I threw on my shorts and got ready to go for a run.

I pounded the pavement hard and my head started to clear after 2 miles. I was so focused on my run that I didn’t notice the man standing in front of me. I ran smack into him! I quickly proffered an apology as I got up from the pavement. The man started to laugh. I looked up to see Marcel offering me his hand. I was shaken to see him. He helped me up and kissed my hand.