Sailor was reluctant to let me go. I couldn’t get out of there fast enough. I needed some space. I had to think about what happened. I got dressed quickly after using the bathroom. I kissed him goodbye and left.
I didn’t go home. I couldn’t. Not yet. Instead, I made a fatal mistake. I called Chuck.
Friday, August 27, 2010
Friday, August 20, 2010
L’homme Français (aka The Frenchman)
I am going to have a difficult time not writing this chapter in French. I spent 2 years in Marseilles. Work, work, work. That was my world and technically, I didn’t have the time for relationships. I had just been burned in what could be noted as the shortest relationship of my life. That’s what I get for allowing myself to be swayed by some jerk’s sweet talk. Ugh. I’m just grateful I only ended up with crabs and not AIDS.
I was introduced to the French man by a coworker. I think Coworker was purposefully trying to set me up. I understood his point of view and he was a very sweet older gentleman. I have to give l’homme français a name. I’m not comfortable calling him “Frenchie”. It reminds me too much of Didi Conn’s character in Grease. Can you see me dating a man with pink hair? Non.
Coworker had a dinner party in my honor. To welcome me to France. I guess it’s the thing to do when someone is new to the area. I’m not very familiar with French customs even to this day. I was seated next to Coworker’s cousin, Jean-Pierre. I could smell a set-up from a mile away. What I didn’t know, was that he was being set-up as well. I didn’t want to seem standoffish but I still came across that way during the meal. Truth was, my French speaking skills were very rusty. I could understand bits and pieces of the conversations taking place but I was unable to respond. I needed a translator. Pronto!
I was relieved when everyone retired to the large parlor and the conversation quieted to someone playing the piano. Jean-Pierre came up behind me and whispered in my ear. In English! I was so thrilled to find someone who spoke my language. His smile matched the huge grin on my face after discovering the language barrier had been broken.
“I could see that you found it difficult to understand the conversation at dinner.”
“Yes, very much so,” I smiled.
“My cousin likes to play match maker with me. They were discussing that we would be a nice match together.” He laughed.
I chuckled. “Yes, I had a feeling that was what Coworker was doing.”
I didn’t have time for a relationship. How many times do I have to tell people that?
“How do you feel about that?” He asked, looking at me with trepidation.
“Can we just be friends? I don’t know how much free time I will have.” I replied.
“What do you mean by ‘free time’? I do not understand this word.”
“I have to see when I am available. Not working.”
“Oh yes! Can I show you the city?”
What harm could be done in that? At least I’d have someone to have dinner with on occasion. Eating alone gets monotonous after a while. Not to mention, I didn’t know what restaurants would be edible. That’s the downside of traveling to foreign countries.
“Yes, I think I would like that very much,”
“Tres bien! When may I call?”
“Let me call you, okay?” I wanted control in this situation.
“I do not understand. It is proper for a woman to call a man?” He frowned.
Ah. He was old-fashioned. I could concede to that. I gave him my work number. I didn’t have a phone in my flat yet. It was getting late so I needed to end the conversation. As I gave him the piece of paper with my number, he held my hand and kissed it. We bid each other bonne nuit. Good night for the English speakers. I had to get up early for work. No, that was just my excuse for leaving the party early. Too many older people in one room. I swear Jean-Pierre and I were the youngest people in the house that night.
I was introduced to the French man by a coworker. I think Coworker was purposefully trying to set me up. I understood his point of view and he was a very sweet older gentleman. I have to give l’homme français a name. I’m not comfortable calling him “Frenchie”. It reminds me too much of Didi Conn’s character in Grease. Can you see me dating a man with pink hair? Non.
Coworker had a dinner party in my honor. To welcome me to France. I guess it’s the thing to do when someone is new to the area. I’m not very familiar with French customs even to this day. I was seated next to Coworker’s cousin, Jean-Pierre. I could smell a set-up from a mile away. What I didn’t know, was that he was being set-up as well. I didn’t want to seem standoffish but I still came across that way during the meal. Truth was, my French speaking skills were very rusty. I could understand bits and pieces of the conversations taking place but I was unable to respond. I needed a translator. Pronto!
I was relieved when everyone retired to the large parlor and the conversation quieted to someone playing the piano. Jean-Pierre came up behind me and whispered in my ear. In English! I was so thrilled to find someone who spoke my language. His smile matched the huge grin on my face after discovering the language barrier had been broken.
“I could see that you found it difficult to understand the conversation at dinner.”
“Yes, very much so,” I smiled.
“My cousin likes to play match maker with me. They were discussing that we would be a nice match together.” He laughed.
I chuckled. “Yes, I had a feeling that was what Coworker was doing.”
I didn’t have time for a relationship. How many times do I have to tell people that?
“How do you feel about that?” He asked, looking at me with trepidation.
“Can we just be friends? I don’t know how much free time I will have.” I replied.
“What do you mean by ‘free time’? I do not understand this word.”
“I have to see when I am available. Not working.”
“Oh yes! Can I show you the city?”
What harm could be done in that? At least I’d have someone to have dinner with on occasion. Eating alone gets monotonous after a while. Not to mention, I didn’t know what restaurants would be edible. That’s the downside of traveling to foreign countries.
“Yes, I think I would like that very much,”
“Tres bien! When may I call?”
“Let me call you, okay?” I wanted control in this situation.
“I do not understand. It is proper for a woman to call a man?” He frowned.
Ah. He was old-fashioned. I could concede to that. I gave him my work number. I didn’t have a phone in my flat yet. It was getting late so I needed to end the conversation. As I gave him the piece of paper with my number, he held my hand and kissed it. We bid each other bonne nuit. Good night for the English speakers. I had to get up early for work. No, that was just my excuse for leaving the party early. Too many older people in one room. I swear Jean-Pierre and I were the youngest people in the house that night.
Monday, August 16, 2010
The Sailor, part 3
“I love you,” was all I could say. It summed up all the unusual emotions I had been having.
“I love you as well,” Sailor replied.
I didn’t know if anything else needed to be said. He obviously had more on his mind.
“I love looking into your eyes. They are so dark and mysterious. They draw me in.”
I chewed my bottom lip, unsure how to respond or if a response was even needed.
“We have one problem though.”
“Huh?” I was confused and the mood dissipated.
“Are you on birth control?” He asked.
Oops. I knew there was something missing in the moment. There goes my perfect control.
“Oh, shit.” I wasn’t worried about STDs but the last thing I wanted was a child. I was only 18! That’s still very much a child and I have to leave for school in a month. College and children were not a mix I wanted on my agenda.
“I’m not worried about it but if you do end up pregnant, I want to know.”
“Um, uh…” I hesitated. I had to get over the shock of what he said. He put the “p” word into a respective reality.
“I don’t neglect my responsibilities. I’d love to have a family with you but I don’t know if now is the right time with you going off to college and I don’t know where the Navy is going to take me.”
I was getting very uncomfortable with this conversation. I didn’t want to think about what pregnancy and having a child would do to my life. I wasn’t ready for marriage, commitment or anything else that went along with that. Control yourself, girl. I had to get it together before I hyperventilated with fear.
“I don’t think I will end up pregnant from tonight.”
“Well, it’s not my first choice but I wouldn’t fight it.”
“Let’s just wait and see. In the meantime, we can either not do it anymore or you can get condoms.”
“Ok. But promise me that you will tell me the outcome no matter what?” He held me tight until I agreed.
“I promise I will tell you. I should get home now. I’m sure my Dad needs his truck.”
“I love you as well,” Sailor replied.
I didn’t know if anything else needed to be said. He obviously had more on his mind.
“I love looking into your eyes. They are so dark and mysterious. They draw me in.”
I chewed my bottom lip, unsure how to respond or if a response was even needed.
“We have one problem though.”
“Huh?” I was confused and the mood dissipated.
“Are you on birth control?” He asked.
Oops. I knew there was something missing in the moment. There goes my perfect control.
“Oh, shit.” I wasn’t worried about STDs but the last thing I wanted was a child. I was only 18! That’s still very much a child and I have to leave for school in a month. College and children were not a mix I wanted on my agenda.
“I’m not worried about it but if you do end up pregnant, I want to know.”
“Um, uh…” I hesitated. I had to get over the shock of what he said. He put the “p” word into a respective reality.
“I don’t neglect my responsibilities. I’d love to have a family with you but I don’t know if now is the right time with you going off to college and I don’t know where the Navy is going to take me.”
I was getting very uncomfortable with this conversation. I didn’t want to think about what pregnancy and having a child would do to my life. I wasn’t ready for marriage, commitment or anything else that went along with that. Control yourself, girl. I had to get it together before I hyperventilated with fear.
“I don’t think I will end up pregnant from tonight.”
“Well, it’s not my first choice but I wouldn’t fight it.”
“Let’s just wait and see. In the meantime, we can either not do it anymore or you can get condoms.”
“Ok. But promise me that you will tell me the outcome no matter what?” He held me tight until I agreed.
“I promise I will tell you. I should get home now. I’m sure my Dad needs his truck.”
Wednesday, August 11, 2010
QUESTIONS AND ANSWERS
I receive emails on a regular basis asking questions. I'm pretty certain that some of them will be redundant so I will be creating a separate blog to answer all your questions. If the question is on your mind, please check there or email me. I will keep your name private!
Ask me anything and I will answer to the best of my opinion. No topic is off limits!
~Chelsea~
Ask me anything and I will answer to the best of my opinion. No topic is off limits!
~Chelsea~
Monday, August 9, 2010
The Chief, part 4
We finally arrive at his apartment and unload my luggage from his truck. Once inside the apartment, he drops my suitcase on the floor and pulls me into a tight hug. His lips are pressed against the hollow of my neck. I melted right on the spot. Chief knew where my weak spots were. I had instantly become his slave.
I pulled away from him to look into his eyes. His hands were on my hips as I brought his face towards mine. I kissed him like I had never kissed him before. His lips felt soft under mine. I closed my eyes to muster my deep-rooted passion. His hands traveled around my waist, to my buttocks and lifted me off the floor. Chief tore his lips from mine and began kissing my neck, traveling down to my chest.
He kept one arm around my waist as his other hand slid up my shirt to fondle my breast. My nipple grew harder as his thumb flicked over it. All I could do was moan. I could feel his hardness pressing through his pants. The beast was begging to be freed from the constraints of fabric. I knelt before Chief and released him.
Stop looking at me like that. You’re not getting the juicy details. Okay, I gave him the best head of his life. Then we had sex. I insisted upon the missionary position. I was hoping that if I laid there like a dead fish, he’d get turned off. Most guys do get turned off with that, don’t they? I had no choice but to lay there and fake an orgasm. How did I fake it? That’s my little secret!
Have you seen “Forgetting Sarah Marshall”? There’s a scene in it where the guy is having sex with the black girl. She moans a couple of times then tells him she came. That’s very close to what I did that night.
The next morning, I woke up in bed alone. The apartment was unusually silent and it took me a few moments to remember where I was. I got up and made my way to the bathroom. I felt like someone had slipped me a Mickey but I knew better. I hadn’t even drank last night.
The following Monday I was on a plane to my next station. I realized when Chief didn’t call, that most women have a certain expectation of the men in their lives. I didn’t. By the same token, I didn’t call Chief. I guess I could have but I knew that we both were busy with work.
He called a couple of weeks later. I was sitting alone in my room, debating with myself about dinner and going to a movie when he called. I felt out of sorts in the conversation. I didn’t love him but I had sex with him. It’s quite possible I felt used. I was still young and not wise enough to discern what my feelings were. I just knew that I didn’t love him romantically.
“So, how’s it going?” He asked. It was a typical question but I did appreciate how he was concerned about my welfare.
“It’s busy. It’s freakishly cold here.” I couldn’t really think of anything else to say.
“When are you coming back?”
Damn! I think to myself.
“Didn’t you get enough of me a couple of weeks ago?”
“No. A weekend with you only leaves me wanting more. So much more.”
“I don’t know when I’ll get back. I only know a few days beforehand where I’ll be for the next project.” I lied through my teeth and prayed he wouldn’t call me on it.
“Oh, ok. If you come here will you call me?” He sounded disappointed.
“What’s the deal?”
“What? What are you talking about?”
“What’s your fascination with me?” I was getting aggravated and exasperated.
“You’re so open about life. Your free spirit and the fact that you don’t take crap from anyone. You have boundaries. You’re loyal and fierce. You know when to protect and when to let go…” He paused for a moment. “You have this incredible quality that makes you beautiful and sexy. Let’s not forget how smart you are and you never allow anyone who is less intelligent to feel dumb around you.”
I sighed. Chief wasn’t saying things to placate me. He was telling the truth. It’s something about me that I didn’t understand and wouldn’t comprehend for years to come.
I pulled away from him to look into his eyes. His hands were on my hips as I brought his face towards mine. I kissed him like I had never kissed him before. His lips felt soft under mine. I closed my eyes to muster my deep-rooted passion. His hands traveled around my waist, to my buttocks and lifted me off the floor. Chief tore his lips from mine and began kissing my neck, traveling down to my chest.
He kept one arm around my waist as his other hand slid up my shirt to fondle my breast. My nipple grew harder as his thumb flicked over it. All I could do was moan. I could feel his hardness pressing through his pants. The beast was begging to be freed from the constraints of fabric. I knelt before Chief and released him.
Stop looking at me like that. You’re not getting the juicy details. Okay, I gave him the best head of his life. Then we had sex. I insisted upon the missionary position. I was hoping that if I laid there like a dead fish, he’d get turned off. Most guys do get turned off with that, don’t they? I had no choice but to lay there and fake an orgasm. How did I fake it? That’s my little secret!
Have you seen “Forgetting Sarah Marshall”? There’s a scene in it where the guy is having sex with the black girl. She moans a couple of times then tells him she came. That’s very close to what I did that night.
The next morning, I woke up in bed alone. The apartment was unusually silent and it took me a few moments to remember where I was. I got up and made my way to the bathroom. I felt like someone had slipped me a Mickey but I knew better. I hadn’t even drank last night.
The following Monday I was on a plane to my next station. I realized when Chief didn’t call, that most women have a certain expectation of the men in their lives. I didn’t. By the same token, I didn’t call Chief. I guess I could have but I knew that we both were busy with work.
He called a couple of weeks later. I was sitting alone in my room, debating with myself about dinner and going to a movie when he called. I felt out of sorts in the conversation. I didn’t love him but I had sex with him. It’s quite possible I felt used. I was still young and not wise enough to discern what my feelings were. I just knew that I didn’t love him romantically.
“So, how’s it going?” He asked. It was a typical question but I did appreciate how he was concerned about my welfare.
“It’s busy. It’s freakishly cold here.” I couldn’t really think of anything else to say.
“When are you coming back?”
Damn! I think to myself.
“Didn’t you get enough of me a couple of weeks ago?”
“No. A weekend with you only leaves me wanting more. So much more.”
“I don’t know when I’ll get back. I only know a few days beforehand where I’ll be for the next project.” I lied through my teeth and prayed he wouldn’t call me on it.
“Oh, ok. If you come here will you call me?” He sounded disappointed.
“What’s the deal?”
“What? What are you talking about?”
“What’s your fascination with me?” I was getting aggravated and exasperated.
“You’re so open about life. Your free spirit and the fact that you don’t take crap from anyone. You have boundaries. You’re loyal and fierce. You know when to protect and when to let go…” He paused for a moment. “You have this incredible quality that makes you beautiful and sexy. Let’s not forget how smart you are and you never allow anyone who is less intelligent to feel dumb around you.”
I sighed. Chief wasn’t saying things to placate me. He was telling the truth. It’s something about me that I didn’t understand and wouldn’t comprehend for years to come.
Tuesday, August 3, 2010
The Sailor, part 2
Sailor was gentle and tender. He made sure I wanted him before we went any further. I had wanted him since the day I met him! Was he nuts? Could he really not tell that I wanted to spend every waking moment with him? Hell, I’d spend the rest of my life with him if he asked.
We continued kissing for the longest time. Then Sailor peeled my shirt off and caressed my breasts through my bra. My nipples were erect from anticipation. I let him have total control. I didn’t want to know what was next and soaked up the pleasure his kisses were giving me. I ran my hands down his solid chest and flat abs to toy with the waistband of his skivvies. I could feel the emanating heat of his cock. Sailor was rock hard. It began to pulse and throb when I wrapped my fingers around it. My thumb toyed with the precum on the tip. He moaned.
“I’m going to explode if you keep doing that.”
“Go ahead.” I must have had a wicked glimmer in my eye or something because he pulled my hand from him.
“No. Not yet.”
I pouted. I had never felt a man get off by my hand. It would have been a first.
Instead, Sailor rolled on top of me and we continued kissing. He sat back and straddled me. I was lifted to a sitting position so he could remove my bra. My breasts were exposed but I didn’t feel my usual shyness. Yet another strange feeling. It was as if we had been together our entire lives. Being with him gave me a sense of déjà vu. Maybe reincarnation was real. That would explain the strange feelings and the comfort I found from not being in control.
He laid me back down and gazed at me. I pulled him down for another kiss. He kissed my lips then created a trail down my neck to my breasts. My very sensitive nipples were feeling a bit tortured and tormented by his tongue. I could feel how wet I was between my thighs. My pants wanted off in the worst way. Sailor was taking his time and I fought the urge to rush things. The feel of his cock pressing my pubic area was too much for me to take and the dam broke. I soaked my pants from my orgasm. It was then that he decided to remove my pants and he was surprised to see that I didn’t have any panties on.
Moving on from my breasts, Sailor kissed my stomach as he tenderly separated my legs and knelt between them. He slowly worked his way to being on top of me. I could feel his cock begin to probe for the opening to my vagina. He slid the full length of his cock into me. We were in sync as our hips began a gentle rocking rhythm that took us both to an incredible crest of heighten waves. It didn’t take long for tremors to shake my body. It was a mind-blowing orgasm. I couldn’t repeat it if I tried.
It seemed like the orgasm was going to last forever. Sailor didn’t move from me until we were both sated. It took us a while to stop shaking. I laid in his arms until the sun came up. I sat up and started crying. I’m not an emotional person when it comes to sex but the tears would not stop flowing. Sailor held me while I cried. I’m pretty certain he didn’t understand my tears either. He lifted my chin to look into his eyes before kissing my tears. I knew exactly then what I was feeling.
We continued kissing for the longest time. Then Sailor peeled my shirt off and caressed my breasts through my bra. My nipples were erect from anticipation. I let him have total control. I didn’t want to know what was next and soaked up the pleasure his kisses were giving me. I ran my hands down his solid chest and flat abs to toy with the waistband of his skivvies. I could feel the emanating heat of his cock. Sailor was rock hard. It began to pulse and throb when I wrapped my fingers around it. My thumb toyed with the precum on the tip. He moaned.
“I’m going to explode if you keep doing that.”
“Go ahead.” I must have had a wicked glimmer in my eye or something because he pulled my hand from him.
“No. Not yet.”
I pouted. I had never felt a man get off by my hand. It would have been a first.
Instead, Sailor rolled on top of me and we continued kissing. He sat back and straddled me. I was lifted to a sitting position so he could remove my bra. My breasts were exposed but I didn’t feel my usual shyness. Yet another strange feeling. It was as if we had been together our entire lives. Being with him gave me a sense of déjà vu. Maybe reincarnation was real. That would explain the strange feelings and the comfort I found from not being in control.
He laid me back down and gazed at me. I pulled him down for another kiss. He kissed my lips then created a trail down my neck to my breasts. My very sensitive nipples were feeling a bit tortured and tormented by his tongue. I could feel how wet I was between my thighs. My pants wanted off in the worst way. Sailor was taking his time and I fought the urge to rush things. The feel of his cock pressing my pubic area was too much for me to take and the dam broke. I soaked my pants from my orgasm. It was then that he decided to remove my pants and he was surprised to see that I didn’t have any panties on.
Moving on from my breasts, Sailor kissed my stomach as he tenderly separated my legs and knelt between them. He slowly worked his way to being on top of me. I could feel his cock begin to probe for the opening to my vagina. He slid the full length of his cock into me. We were in sync as our hips began a gentle rocking rhythm that took us both to an incredible crest of heighten waves. It didn’t take long for tremors to shake my body. It was a mind-blowing orgasm. I couldn’t repeat it if I tried.
It seemed like the orgasm was going to last forever. Sailor didn’t move from me until we were both sated. It took us a while to stop shaking. I laid in his arms until the sun came up. I sat up and started crying. I’m not an emotional person when it comes to sex but the tears would not stop flowing. Sailor held me while I cried. I’m pretty certain he didn’t understand my tears either. He lifted my chin to look into his eyes before kissing my tears. I knew exactly then what I was feeling.
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