Friday, July 9, 2010

The Chief, part 1

I’ve known the Chief since I was in my teens. He was my late boyfriend’s roommate before Chuck passed. Chief never held much interest in me until much later, after I had officially become an adult. It was a simple letter that triggered the unexpected response.

I wrote a very provocative letter to Chuck. It was for Chuck’s eyes only but never stayed that way. He had the audacity to show it to a few of his friends! I was incredibly furious about this but I couldn't do anything about it being 2000 miles away. Next thing that happens is Chuck’s footlocker was broken into and the letter went missing.

Some of the guys knew who I was. Chuck had a big mouth and talked about our sex life. I was flattered and embarrassed all at the same time. I didn’t want the attention. The catcalls, the wolf whistles, and the come-ons. I couldn’t tell who was serious and who just wanted in my pants, due to my young age and lack of experience. I couldn’t handle it nor did I know what to do in response. I was still very shy and had limited experience.

Meeting the Chief intrigued me. He was different yet the same as his letters. I felt naked under his intense stare. Might as well just take off my clothes and walk down the street naked. Chuck warned me about the Chief and his blatant desire for me. What did I do merit that kind of attention from anyone?

I allowed the Chief to write me letters while I was attending college. He knew what kind of school it was but managed to slip some eye-raising words on to paper. It fueled my frustration with celibacy and eventually turned me into a wanton hussy. I didn’t get it. I wasn’t attracted to Chief sexually.

Chief was half-black and half-Mexican. It wasn’t because of his race that I wasn’t attracted to him. I like chocolate. Maybe it was the way he stared at me so intently. As if he was trying to read my mind and figure me out. Maybe it was his formal attitude. Everything was black & white with the Chief. No gray in the middle. Well, he is a sailor after all.

He gives the impression that he is much wiser beyond his years. Maybe it’s his mentality that I don’t like? I get the feeling that he is too serious all the time. Chief’s demeanor rarely changes and I rarely see him smile. I need someone who doesn’t take life so seriously. There you have it!

Chief would ask me on a regular basis if I would come spend a weekend with him. I had denied him for the longest time and was hoping to continue avoiding the questions. It’s so hard to want to spend a weekend with someone when you’re not attracted to him. I have nothing besides platonic feelings for him. Strictly platonic. Your psyche knows when you are attracted to someone. I just wasn’t attracted to him no matter how hard I tried to be.




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2 comments:

  1. Ok i get the feeling she's going to spend the weekend with the chief! :)

    ReplyDelete
  2. Love it! more, More, MORE!!! :)

    ReplyDelete